awkward & awesome.

• • So I wanted to start off this most fantastic day by telling you the best awkward moments of the last few weeks. But, I also wanted you to know that my life isn't just awkward, its awesome as well. I hope you enjoy reading it, because well... I enjoy living my life. Even if its just a tad rediculous sometimes; but, hey, isn't that what makes life enjoyable?
    
    #1. I think this experience is the funniest of all and THE MOST AWKWARD for sure. So yes, please read on..
    
    There I was running on the treadmill in the most fancy of gyms in Southern California; I was all decked out in my little sports bra/tank top combo and bright running shorts when I saw a man awkwardly gazing at me. I tried to remain focused while I listened to my beyonce remix and then all of the sudden.. the awkward man gazing at me started talking, I politely took out  my ear phones and asked if he was talking to me- and that's when he started talking, and talking and talking about everything.
    I'm fine with people talking. Really, I love to talk. But when I'm getting my workout on, I just can't do it.
    Then that's when it gets super awkward. He continues  to tell me that his sex life with his wife is more than unsatisfactory -  and asks me about a whole bunch of horrific questions about Mormons and sex, and when I try to end the conversation he says (quite seriously) " If you ever wanna have a child, I would be willing to help you with it. You do look quite fertile, and there is that room in the back..." AWKWARD. 
    To say the least, I ran. Ran super fast and hoped to see him never again.
    
    
    #2. Working out with a trainer for the first time - and I almost passed out/ threw up on him while being super sweaty and disgusting. Oh, and did I mention that he trains Ryan Gosling? Winner status, Amanda. 
    
    
    #3. Fetching a super attractive man some Dr Pepper while  talking to him at the same time; and then all of the sudden my gum falls out of my mouth and lands in my hair; but guess who doesn't notice it for awhile? Me. I just keep flirting until I notice it and pull it out. Not only awkward, but super gross.
    
    
    #4. Working a long, long day and then noticing at the end of my shift I had a piece of chocolate smudged on my butt - but oh no, it didn't look like chocolate; it looked like poop. 9 hours of no one telling me this? Thanks guys, thanks. 
    
    
    5. Belting in my car - Diana Ross's " Can't hurry love" and then looking over to my left and seeing a boy makeout with his girlfriend in the car. Ahh, thanks for that. yuck.
    
    
    I have more, I really do. But, I want to show you that my life isn't just awkward. Its amazing too. Here ya go. 
    
    
    Ready. set, read! 
    
    
    1. Having a 4 year old call you and say " Amanda, are you coming home today? Cause, I miss you and I want you to come home." Little children melt my heart. 
    
    
    2. Meeting someone who will dance and act just as goofy as you do, and then laugh with you- not at you. :)
    
    
    3. Finish working 14 hours and realizing that you're not tired one bit. Who's hardcore now, huh?
    
    
    4. Hearing your little sister sing " He's climbing up your windows, he's snatching your people up. Trying to rape them cellulite, so you better hide your kids, hide your wives..." 
    Then telling her that cellulite is not used in that song, and that she has been singing it all wrong the whole time. he he.
    
    
    5. Getting off work early and then doing nothing for the rest of the night. Best feeling ever.
    
    
    Well that concludes my little stories. Hope you enjoyed until next time. 
    
    
    -A