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" All I really, really want our love to do is to bring out the best in me and in you too" - Joni Mitchell
Today I wanted to write something dear to my soul, and its called romance. If you know me at all, you would know that I am quite the romantic person. I wear my emotions and my heart on my sleeve, and have daydreamed about love and romance since I was a little girl. Honestly, I can say that it pains me to know that I'm living in a world of absolutely zero romance. However, every once in a while I come across a relationship that is so pure, so full of love and charity, that I can hardly contain my enthusiasm.
All I seem to hear about these days are hookups. I hear about them on a daily basic, and when I talk to people about them, I see the pain in their eyes; I see how they feel invaluable or used, or how they were expecting a relationship out of a hookup and when nothing happened, they were heartbroken. Its awfully sad, and I cant help but feel compassion for these people who make bad decisions because all they want to be is loved.
The other day I heard a silly story about how a guy met his wife, He said "I met my wife because we hooked up for a while and then we decided to be in relationship and later on we decided to get married".. Not only does this have " NO RESPECT, written all over it, but it also says " I kind of like you, but I'm too lazy to take you on a date and pursue you, so instead, we'll hookup and then get married.. cause I guess I could marry you."
This needs to STOP. Where is your self control, where is your respect? Wouldn't you most rather have a relationship that is based on mutual interest and understanding, instead of just sexual desires. I would hope so..
The world has made it seem okay that you don't need to respect someone to love them. I completely disagree, the best love stories are the ones in which the man would never make his wife or girlfriend do anything that would dishonor her name; respect was a important factor in their relationship, and it would help keep their love lasting. I believe true love is not selfish, its not hurtful, or shameful.
In my book, Love is is caring and respectful, and anything other than that is lust.
Pornography, music, and the movies deeply contribute to the way we view relationships, and people. Friends with benefits have become such a social norm, and a lot of relationships these days now start because of our own selfish sexual desires.
A wise friend told me that any functional caring relationship starts out in 5 steps. 1. You know the person. 2. You trust the person. 3. You rely on the person. 4. You commit to the person. 5. appropriate physical touch.
I'm sick of hearing songs that are degrading, songs that make woman look like prostitutes, b****** or objects. I'm sick of ladies talking about men as a means to get what they want. I've heard both, and its disgusting. Raunchiness is not sexiness. Hookups will never be okay or romantic, and lust will never be love. That's just how it is.
I hope that anyone who views this will see how important relationships are, I hope they will take the time to make it romantic and beautiful, to make it caring and wonderful. Because, even though its more rare, I do believe that those relationships still exist.
I myself, expect none the less in my relationships, and hopefully you will too.
Until later. - Amanda
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