Speak your mind, fool.

"Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head.
Living out the same old moment.
Knowing you'd be better off instead.
If you could only... Say what you need to say."

 Can I just say that I've contemplated writing this particular post a few different times. I feel as if  I'm not sure what to say, or don't know exactly how to write it, but today, it seems that the words just seem to float on and I'm able to express myself easily.

I started this blog for a few different reasons. I started because 1)  I enjoy writing, 2) I like to get feedback and get different perspectives, and 3) I like saying whats on my mind. Although,  I'm not the most eloquent speaker, I do try to say what is on my mind, and in my heart - even if it is hard.
 I've learned time and time again, that its not about how you spell things, or how you say them. Whats most important is that you are speaking your mind.

To be completely honest, I've been in my handful of crummy relationships. I've been torn down, walked all over, and not respected. There have been plenty of times where I've held my tongue because I wanted to be nice, and not contentious. Well, let me tell you a secret, ok? You will go through your whole life being walked all over, torn down, and not respected if you don't say what you need to say.


A year and a half ago, I dated some very choice individuals. I'll briefly describe them to you.

#1 The " I"ll never tell you how I feel about you, because I like games" boy.
#2.  The degrading being who only talked about himself, and made fun of everyone around him- including me.
 and last #3. The boy who completely shattered my heart., for no reason at all.

I came to a point, where I realized that I was done being  treated poorly, and that all I needed to do was to say something. 
So I did, and  I probably took the boldest approach that I could- I called, I wrote a letter and I blatantly told one off face to face. At that moment, I also vowed to myself, that I would never get treated that way again.

Since then, I've moved to Chicago and California. Changed my degree to communication, and have three great jobs in which I love.

My relationships have improved, my bosses respect me and I have alot more opportunities than I used to, not to mention my self respect has soared to new heights.
Also, when dating I tell the person exactly how I expect to be treated and what I want, No mind games, no confusion, and no wasting my time - or his, for that matter.

Oh, and as for those three boys, One is married,  one is single- and probably will be for a long time( we don't speak, AT ALL.) and one wrote me a very sincere letter in which he apologized and said how sorry he was for his behavior. 

Hope this is a lesson to you, that great things come from speaking your mind. Sometimes they don't just appear, but in the long run, I can guarantee you will be alot happier with your life, because I  most definitely am. :)

Until later, Amanda. :)